The Pleasure & Pain of Healing

     The Consciousness of Pleasure and Pain

                                                          Devin D. Green

                                                       Saybrook University

                                                  Introduction

If you were to look into the DSM V now, you would find both Sexual Sadism and Sexual Masochism under Paraphilic Disorders. The very S/M that play an essential part in Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadochism and Masochism (BDSM) play. The act of either inflicting or receiving bondage, pain, humiliation or suffering for sexual pleasure and or arousal, has now evolved into a psychosocial concern. When in fact, history shows us in both ancient Indian and Western cultures, that painful activation was encouraged for sexual enhancement and was even seen as the cure for erectile dysfunction (Labrecque et al., 2021). Once again, society and cultural normality has casted shadows of stigmas around alternative ways of healing, that could potentially lead an individual to transformative and everlasting change. Promoting curiosity around the testified benefits of BDSM, as opposed to being succumbed to conditioned denial of the unknown and unfamiliar, can perhaps introduce us to the true trauma treating and long-term effects of BDSM, as compared to traditional therapeutic models utilized to treat past trauma.

                  Purpose Statement

            The purpose of this paper is to demystify the stigma behind the world of BDSM. By exploring the healing capabilities that are witnessed in individuals that engage in trauma play, analyzing the consciousness behind pleasure and pain in trauma play settings, as well as formulating ways in which BDSM can potentially be an alternative to traditional treatment modalities, as a means to promote everlasting healing and overall transformation from past trauma. Sub questions that have been birthed in response to inquiry include Does BDSM and trauma play have the ability to awaken the inner healer through unordinary states of consciousness? If so, how does one evolve into a baseline state of self-inquiry and exploration outside of the BDSM play settings? 

                                                      Review of Literature

            BDSM is far more than the whips and chains that were introduced to mainstream media through such as “Fifty Shades of Grey”. In fact, not all BDSM is necessarily aimed towards sexual and fantasy fulfillment. From the perspective of the dominant role taker, administering pain, humiliation, suffering or withholding pleasure from the submissive, may in turn give the dominant a sense of power and control that may or may not be an accurate reflection of their presented narrative outside of the play scene. The intrinsic reward of the submissive role taker, however, is far more complex. The submissive may experience several sensations in play that are beyond sexual gratification. For one, the submissive has the opportunity to tap deeper into their five senses (mindfulness) by being blindfolded, restrained or in bondage. The anticipation of helplessly waiting for what’s next from the dominate play partner, whether that be a bite or strike, can promote a sense of immersed presence that is often found in meditative states. The submissive also could lose themselves, along with the concept of space and time (ego death), through tolerating identified levels of sensations that they may not be receptible to experiencing otherwise. Most importantly, individuals that take one the role of the submissive in BDSM settings really have the power of the play by being the only one with access to a safe word. A safe word is an identified word or phrase that communicates for the scene to end at any point in time and must be respected by the dominant role taker. Particularly in more intense play such as punishment, humiliation and race or impact play. For some, mere access to calling on a safe word provides them with a voice and agency that they may not have readily available outside of the play setting. Especially in speaking in terms of trauma, equipping the submissive with the safe word gives them the chance to reclaim their narratives, bodies, and overall identities. If done so correctly and with intention, the pleasure and plain utilized in BDSM play and settings can be used as a vessel to completely liberate the individual. Pain specifically is a powerful sensation that overrides our automated thought process, behaviors, and sense of reasoning (Airaksinen, 2017). It can be used as a tool to work for us, as opposed to against us, for radial change and acceptance.

            A study conducted by Baker (2016) found that participants in BDSM play and settings reported a shared sense of energetic force during play, along with surrender and feeling a spiritual presence, similar to the reports of individuals taking part in religious or ceremonial realms. There is little difference from the intention around alter setting that is found in church institutions as compared to BDSM settings, except that tithes are replaced with whips and chains, preacher puts on the dressings of latex instead of the robe and the sacrifice being the submissive that is willing and able to leave all of their pain and suffering behind them, as many religious followers intend to do.

            For some, this sense of sanctuary developed through BDSM settings is one of many options for a sense of belonging and showing up authentically, whereas for individuals within the LGBTQIA+ communities, BDSM settings may be their only access to retreat to safe spaces. In a study conducted by Speciale & Khambatta (2020), who both explored the experiences of kink/BDSM within individuals that identify as LGBTQIA+, found that they all expressed common themes of accessibly to safe spaces, sense of connectedness and promotion of healing and self-exploration. All of which are influential factors to an underserved population that is typically robbed of these factors due to ongoing prejudices and lack of social justice representation.

Pleasure, Pain and Consciousness

            Sensation seeking, whether through pleasure or pain, seems to be the driving force for most human beings. Whether that is through the small rush received when watching sports or the complexities of human’s choosing to suffer within their own thoughts and emotions. The same components that prompt endorphin release are mimicked in BDSM play: sexual arousal, meditation, and physical engagement (Labrecque et al., 2021). Endorphins are the feel-good hormones that act as the body’s organic “pain killers” and are responsible for our overall sense of wellbeing. Not even therapy alone can promote such a bodily response. In fact, individuals in the kink and BDSM positive communities have reported receiving education around the power of safe words, consistent consent, the importance of aftercare and preventing burnout from emotional labor (Nevard, 2021), more so in play settings than therapeutic settings. The gap between the BDSM world and therapeutic world continues to be realms apart, with the exception of sex therapist, but the exploration of alternative ways of healing almost always comes back with some promise.

Healing Pain through Pain

            Trauma play is defined as conscious and consensual reenactments of past trauma or abuse through the lens of BDSM practices (Thomas, 2020), such as humiliation play, incest play, race play, rape play and more. In reenactments, past trauma is processed in a way that enforces the submissive role to be an active and willing participant to situations that may have been beyond their control in the past. Reenactments also give the submissive access to a safe word that is utilized at any given time during their scene, on their command and no one else’s.  Invitation to doing so enables the submissive to regain agency over their past trauma by possessing the ability to make the scene stop. “These retellings are testimonials (re)enacted through the body, as they attempt to assimilate, through performative scenes of lived trauma, the unassimilable horrors of violence” (Hammers, 2019). Trauma is stored deeply within the body and locked behind defense mechanisms that are attempting to keep us from getting hurt by accessing these traumas. In trauma play, the submissive is not only reenacting consciously what happened but also subconsciously through somatic healing, by releasing whatever residue of pain or discomfort that may be possessed in the body due to past trauma.

            Some reenactments also provide the submissive with an audience that consist of others within the BDSM community, so that their experience can be observed. Involving onlookers to take part in speculating the play scene provides the submissive with an opportunity to be seen within their reenactment as the audience “bear witness” (Thomas, 2019) to the submissive’s past trauma. To be validated in such as way, especially when most traumatic events are done behind closed doors, can be vital to one’s healing by alleviating any guilt or shame around the trauma.

            For example, an individual that was physically abused as a child may come into a trauma play session to reenact that abuse in as much detail as possible. In a controlled setting, they get to decide on who inflicts the abuse, what sounds and smells that they would like to incorporate, if others will be invited to observe the scene and most importantly, they get to decide when to discontinue. As the dominant role taker begins to flog the whip, the submissive may be taken back to that very moment that they experienced the abuse. The only difference now is that they can face the trauma in a way that puts them in control of what is happening to them. Which in return makes the trauma something that they can either visit, explore, or leave behind completely (Thomas, 2019). It no longer consumes them into submission, instead that is a role that they consciously and actively decide to partake in. Hammers (2018) captured the following experience for one of their study participants

My top takes me back to my rape and abuse because I need to feel how horrible it was. I need to go there, to feel it in my body, but to feel it in my body, a body that is now mine. Who and what I am today. It is my body today that I carry with me. So I go back there to the horrors of it all, but as an adult, a much stronger woman. I replay it, feel it again, but I feel it again today so that tomorrow, and the day after, the pain, the memories will be less. My body has become, over time, lighter, more trusting and able to go out into the world in ways I never could have imagined before”. (p.507)

Shadow Play (Jung)

            BDSM is more than the scene itself, it is the intention and setting of all involved as well. The invitation into this realm physically and mentally takes you to another place. Many play scenes are conducted in dimly lit dungeons that are not necessarily advertised by bright lights. The presentation alone is enough initiation for one to lose themselves to the shadow before the scene even begins. All in BDSM play is catered to evoking the unconscious and forbidden aspects of self that need to be called forward. “Jung posits that shadow is the inferior, guilt-ridden parts of the personality and the aggregate of all the personal and collective psychic elements that are ego-dystonic and are denied expression in people’s lives” (Levand et al., 2019). Through BDSM play, one can safely introduce, explore, accept, and integrate themselves into the shadow of their unconsciousness in a way that leads to reclamation and liberation. Overtime, and with much dedication, the newly found inner healer will potentially become the baseline to one’s existence. Taking them from a submissive victim within their own trauma, to consciously shape shifting them into the dominant force behind their trauma narrative and beyond.

Exposure Therapy (In Vivo)

            There are many themes of BDSM, and trauma play that correlate to Exposure Therapy. Exposure Therapy is a therapeutic intervention used to typically treat Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Typically, the client is exposed to past traumatic events through flooding, in vivo or systematic desensitization, which activates the client’s trauma response. This trauma activation usually leaves an open window for new narratives, beliefs or thought processes to be introduced (Rothbaum & Schwartz, 2002), which overtime decreases the negative symptoms attached to the traumatic event.

Methodology

            The best way to gain insight on whether BDSM trauma play has the potential to create impactful behavioral and cognitive change, compared to traditional exposure therapy interventions, would involve both qualitative and quantitative research methods. I would utilize the Davidson Trauma Scale to assess study participants severity of trauma both before and after their 20 BDSM trauma play (group A) or Exposure Therapy- In vivo intervention (group B) sessions. I would then engage in Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis to capture the study participants lived experiences throughout the study.

Sample Selection

I would be diligent in selecting study participants that have little to no experience in both therapeutic and BDSM/kink settings, to avoid any potential biases towards a particular modality. Study participants would also have to be victims of past sexual or physical assault. The age I would want to study would be between 23-53 to capture perspectives from various generations. I would reach out to my Saybrook community and other local universities, as well as post research ads on Facebook to assist in broadcasting the study. I would then screen all interested candidates and select 20 study participants that are diverse in gender, sexual orientation, religion, location, and race.

Procedure

            I would first divide and distinguish two groups out of the 20 study participants, with 10 individuals in each group. Group A having BDSM trauma play administered on them, while Group B experienced In Vivo Exposure Therapy. I would assess all the participants current level of PTSD symptoms using the Davidson Trauma Scale, prior to experimentation. Over the span of five months, each group will have weekly 60-minute sessions in their assigned treatment modality. Sessions will be broken down into three phases: Beginning (Sessions 1-8), Middle (Sessions 9-16) and Termination (Sessions 16-20). I will be conducting 30–45-minute interviews to capture the experiences of the study participants immediately after each session, to capture their experience as well as assess for any safety concerns around potential retraumatization. Interview questions will be administered based on themes around what the study participants may be feeling in each stage of treatment. Phase 1 Interview Question: What did you feel like before, during and after your assigned session? Phase 2 Interview Question: What aspect did the Shadow play in your experience, if any? Phase 3 Interview Question: Is there a sense of inner healer that was established to reinforce change beyond termination?

            I would collect and transcribe study participants interviews, followed by reviewing their responses. Being sure to take note of any reoccurring themes that may be introduced between the two different study groups. I would then cross examine the responses of the collective and explore any key similarities and major differences between the two study groups combined. Finally, I would administer the Davidson Trauma Scale again to assess if there were any significant changes in study participants symptoms as compared to the beginning of the study. Comparing results along with exploring study participants responses will hopefully shed some light on which treatment modality between BDSM trauma play and In Vivo Exposure Therapy shows greater impact on alleviating symptoms of trauma, while also promoting long lasting changes in behavior, cognitions and consciousness. 

              References

Airaksinen, T. (2017). “A Philosophical and Rhetorical Theory of BDSM”. The Journal of Mind and Behavior, 38(1). 53-74.

Baker, A. (2018). “Sacred Kink: Finding Psychological Meaning at the Intersection of BDSM and Spiritual Experience”. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 33(4).  440-453, DOI: 10.1080/14681994.2016.1205185

Hammers, C. (2019). “Reworking Trauma Through BDSM”. Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society, 44(2). 491-514

Labrecque, F., Potz, A., Larouche, E., & Joyal, C. (2021) “What Is So Appealing About Being Spanked, Flogged, Dominated, or Restrained? Answers from Practitioners of Sexual Masochism/Submission”. The Journal of Sex Research, 58(1). 409-423, DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2020.1767025

Levland, M., Chando, S., Wolfe, M., Pillai-Friedman, S., & Love, E. (2019). “The Light in the Shadows: Therapeutic Explorations of Fantasy and Fear”. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 34(4). 473-495.

Nevard, I. (2021). “Counselling and the Kink Community: A Thematic Analysis”. British Journal of Guidance & Counselling, 49(4). 617-628, DOI: 10.1080/03069885.2019.1703899

Rothbaum, B., & Schwartz, A. (2002). “Exposure Therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder”. American Journal of Psychotherapy, 56(1). 59-75, DOI:10.1176/appi.psychotherapy.2002.56.1.59

Schuerwegen, A., Huys, W., Coppens, V., Neef, N., Henckens, J., Goethlas, K., & Morrens, M. (2021). “The Psychology of Kink: A Cross-Sectional Survey Study Investigating the Roles of Sensation Seeking and Coping Style in BDSM-Related Interests”. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 50. 1197-1206.

Speciale, M., & Khambatta, D. (2020). “Kinky & Queer: Exploring the Experiences of LGBTQ + Individuals who Practice BDSM”. Journal of LGBT Issues in Counseling, 14(4). 341-361, DOI: 10.1080/15538605.2020.1827476

Thomas, J. (2020). “BDSM as Trauma Play: An Autoethnographic Investigation”. Sexualities, 23(5-6). 917-933, DOI: 10.1177/1363460719861800